I’m finally getting my review up of Firefly Magic: Heart Powered Marketing for Highly Sensitive Writers, by Lauren Sapala! Let me save you some time…if you’re wondering whether or not to buy this book, just stop reading this post and go do it. The advice in it is definitely worth more than the awesome 3$ Kindle price tag, and when I have a house someday, I’ll be re-buying it (and The INFJ Writer) in paperback. I haven’t read her memoir yet, but I bought it and I’m sure it’s amazing as well.
Ok, so now it’s time for the breakdown and my favorite parts! Well…some of my favorite parts. There are too many to include here. The book is set up in chapters with a common theme mixed with her awesome personal stories, and then questions at the end to help you think through your thoughts and feelings.
**If you’re not an INFJ or INFP, you may not relate as much. But, if you’re even mildly sensitive, I believe you will enjoy her books.**
As I’ve said in a previous post or two, Firefly could not have come at a more perfect time in my life. I can’t help but believe the universe crossed my path with Lauren’s for a reason, and I’m so glad it did! Reading her words, all I can do is shake my head in disbelief at how many of the same sentiments I’ve had, but that nobody has ever understood. She even talks about how she learned to blend into her environment “like a chameleon” and about how she was never interested in the things everyone else was, nor was anyone interested in the things she was. This meshed with my previous post so perfectly, but she words it much better.
One of the things she talks about is “achievement oriented” vs “relationship oriented” mindsets.
“If you’re wondering what an achievement oriented culture looks like after it’s been allowed to run rampant for years on end, look no further than Hollywood or the political scene in Washington, D.C. People who engage in gossip and slander, point fingers, denounce, boast, and threaten and intimidate others are all very much a part of any achievement oriented scene. In this kind of culture, aging and illness are unacceptable, emotions are suppressed, and compassion is seen as a weakness.” – Lauren Sapala, Firefly Magic
I love this description! There are so many marketing ploys that are in-your-face, “if you don’t have this (thing, service, etc.), you’re trash!” This mindset is why we, as artists and writers especially, dislike the idea of marketing. You find yourself asking “Do I have to market this way to get my stuff noticed?”
Lauren seems to have hope for our world, though, saying that things are changing. She believes people are “waking up” and realizing it’s a broken system, and that “relationship oriented” (where we are all connected and supportive of each other, rather than in competition) people will prevail. I hope she is right. In Firefly, she details how you can use the “relationship oriented” frame of mind in all kinds of marketing, and how HSPs can stay true to themselves and still be successful at it. This eliminates jealousy and comparison with other authors, and is beneficial to both your platform, as well as your peace of mind.
Firefly has great guidelines on how to create a healthy (for you) environment on social media. There are general rules you should consider adopting, such as “Only accept Friend requests from people you like and feel comfortable with.” and you can unfriend or unfollow ANYONE who ceases to make you comfortable. That’s so important! She also reminds us that we choose what we post about and share. We have the power to control what we do or say, and to add or remove people from our environment as needed. And, as she says, “You don’t need a reason.” That’s both powerful and comforting.
Of course, Firefly details how to attract followers and readers (with an adorable animal story), how to use the right key words/tags, and how to follow your intuition and curiosity to be a better writer and marketer. Near the end, she talks about how nothing in this line of work is permanent, and that sometimes you need to step back, take a deep breath, forgive yourself for any mistakes, and take the time to figure out how to do it right. That is a sentiment that really struck home for me. As a perfectionist, I’m usually very hard on myself, and it can send me into an anxiety attack and serious self-debasement if I make a mistake. So, being able to remind myself that I can fix things is important.
I have so many other things I want to say about this book, but that would run into thousands of words, and honestly you should just go buy it. If you want to know more about your inner Prostitute and your Unique Spiritual Purpose, go buy Firefly Magic here.
Are you an INFJ, INFP, or other HSP, and want to have your mind read by a book? If so, this is for you! She even pegged the fact that I don’t have a profile picture… I’ll have to ask her opinion on how to stay anonymous.
I’ll leave you with this quote:
“Every time you immerse yourself in marketing work with integrity, an open heart, and the desire to be of service to yourself and others, you are growing and evolving as a human being.” – Lauren Sapala, Firefly Magic